Along For The Ride

Look what just came in the mail!  Our required reading is here!!!

The nerd in me comes out.

(The nerd in me comes out.)

Yay!  My plan/hope is to read just as much on “parenting” as parenting with an adoption focus.  (I might be super naive, and I do realize this is extremely over-simplifying, but at the end of the day, we’re just two people raising a baby.)

So far, for now, my personal reading includes…

stack

Then while ordering said required book on Amazon, somehow a couple other items found themselves on my “Wish List”…

A children's devotional, made by the creators of the Jesus Storybook Bible.

A children’s devotional, made by the creators of the Jesus Storybook Bible.

(which — let’s think about this — would sit on the shelf for a couple years at least)

and

(a little something for me.)

(a little something for me.)

Here’s the thing.

It’s kind of hard not to get ahead of yourself when you have my kind of personality.  Now I’m not “Type A” by any means (in fact, in many ways, I’m far from it!!!).  But when my heart is in it, I’m all for it…

This isn’t  bad, but it becomes a problem when our thoughts go unattended and start running wild.  That’s when it gets ugly.  The illusion of control.  Things feeling forced.  If I’m being REALLY transparent, sometimes my subconscious thoughts can begin to look like this:

If we can get this done by this time, then this can happen.

In MY perfect world, in my own predetermined plan, I’d really like for the end picture to look like ______.

All else aside, I want to be as honest as I can on this blog.  To show you that the adoption fairy doesn’t simply wave her magic wand, and suddenly you have this beautiful, perfect, multi-cultural family.  It’s beautiful all right.  And God’s will is perfect.  But since the road from here to there involves us humans, there is going to be frustration and lack of clarity and tension along the way (just read our FAQ’s!).  The challenges are all part of the journey… and if this is where we document the journey, this is where you get the grit.

We are so far from having it all together…

It’s a strange place to be, in a way, to have “announced” we’re adopting and suddenly receive all kinds of encouraging feedback.  It’s wonderful, actually.  We REALLY appreciate all your love and support and positive words… more than you know!!!  And there is SO MUCH to look forward to.  Yet, somehow for me right now, a tiny tension exists within all the excitement.  So for the past few weeks, I’ve been praying fervently for these two things:

  • a humble heart
  • and a submissive, patient spirit.

I’m asking for the humility to trust in God’s plan (not our own) — and for all the glory to be His.  I’m praying to be submitted to God’s sovereignty — to know that we are not guaranteed anything, and for His will to be done.  And I’m praying for patience.  For as long as I can remember, it seems like I have all the patience in the world with people… but when it comes to taking action in life, to “doing” things my heart feels called to, I can be very enthusiastic OK, impulsive.  So I’m praying to simply remain surrendered — that my “doing” will be nothing more than what God has asked of us today.  That our actions will be positioning ourselves for Him to move.

That’s hard.  I can feel those inner gears wanting to upshift, while God might just be saying, “We’re going to be on cruise-control for a while.  And that’s ok.”  He is so gracious, and He is ALL goodness.  A friend and dear soul recently said:

“It has taken a few years for me to really rest in the knowledge that God is all we need and all that we search for.  Children are a beautiful addition to His love story with us.”

How easy we forget when we’re caught up in the logistics of life… in making our own plans.

2 Timothy 2:13 says: “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”

So I’m learning to know how to be along for the ride.  Not that I don’t have things to do from where I’m sitting — BELIEVE me.  (One of these days I really should post our Adoption Checklist… I just don’t want to scare anyone away who’s thinking about it!!)  But there will come a day when He’s going to require all I’ve got… and I need to save my fuel ’til then.  And enjoy the scenery.  To remember that the rearview is filled with His faithfulness, that the passenger seats are overflowing with people who love us, and that I am not the one whose Voice is inside the GPS.  To know that the road is plenty wide and plenty long…

And it is SO beautiful.

{By the way, I’m all about sharing resources, so I thought this would be a good place to include this great article on surrender (to the adoption process AND with parenting in general)… thanks, Gina!}

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