Summer has officially hit Wilmington, and I am love. ing. it… The weather has been absolutely gorgeous the past few weeks! Even though we’ve had a lot to do at home that has kept us indoors, I’ve managed one pool day with girlfriends and we plan to hit the beach on Saturday to celebrate Trey’s birthday (which is tomorrow!!).
Our home inspection this past Thursday went really well. Our social worker had a lot of grace with us: Several boxes remain unpacked, and pictures are not on the walls, but she said she was impressed with how much had been done in only a couple weeks. :) We were “approved” (again), and now we just have to get our assessment updated (including new financial records, etc.), and we will become a waiting family again by JUNE 1ST! Yay!
Yesterday being Mothers Day, I have to say I am very thankful that the day was not awkward or hard or uncomfortable for me… It can be a difficult day for many mamas-in-waiting — just another reminder of what they don’t yet have. I typically see a lot written about this in the blog world that I follow, as well as on social media, and I can totally understand that feeling of not-yet…
Holidays are just hard. For many people, they are the most wonderful days of the year, and for others they are like salt in an ever-open wound… Yesterday, I just felt very blessed and protected from any hard feelings. Last year, Mothers Day was really exciting as we had just submitted our formal application to adopt the month before. This year, even though a baby is still not a reality for us yet, I still felt really grateful. Mostly for all the women in my life currently who have either mothered me in some way and/or shown me the kind of mother I want to be: my amazing mom and mother-in-law, my sister, my sweet living grandmother… The focus on these women helped a great deal. As well as knowing my time will come. And friends and family members were so sweet with gestures of cards and texts and even flowers. The bottom line on all of that: I am so blessed to have such thoughtful people in my life!
I have to admit, it’s been strangest at work… I have begun training several different people on different aspects of what I do, in preparation for my maternity leave — although we don’t know exactly when that will come. I feel bad about not having those answers, not knowing quite how much to give up or turn over… but the good news is, as always, God does.
I saw a devotion from My Utmost for His Highest the other day that I just loved and had to share with Trey:
If Jesus ever gave us a command He could not enable us to fulfill, He would be a liar: and if we make our inability a barrier to obedience, it means we are telling God there is something He has not taken into account. Every element of self-reliance must be slain by the power of God. Complete weakness and dependence will always be the occasion for the Spirit of God to manifest His power.
Isn’t it the truth?
At the beginning of every month, Trey and I sit down to review our budget from the previous month. We have categories for everything we spend our money on and make adjustments as necessary in these monthly reviews. We have been saving in the “child college” category since we first got married, and I can remember those first several months laughing that we might just maybe have enough for a textbook. It’s pretty cool to see what slow, committed faithfulness will do to each category over time. We have about enough for maybe half a semester at this point, and it’s not much… but it’s something. And I think that’s how we most honor God: not with a big-bang decision to adopt, but slow, committed trust in His word over time… That’s where we are right now.
In our current series at church, our pastor has talked about seeking God’s presence more than His direction. He asked, “Would you rather be in the place you want to be without God, or right where you are with God?” I can’t think of a better manifesto for the waiting period in adoption (or “waiting to wait,” like us). It’s a privilege to know that God is inviting us to trust Him with His timing. In any case, as our pastor reminded us, “Eternal beings are never in a hurry.” ;)
That was a bunch of random thoughts and updates, but I’m trying hard to just remain really honest on here and capture these snapshots in time of exactly how we are feeling and what we’re experiencing. I especially want to thank everyone who provided encouragement and expressed thanks for my post on April 10th, “The Journey to Here (An Honest Account): Part 2.” It was really humbling to receive such appreciation!! That was a really hard thing for me to post, so I can’t tell you what it means to hear even one expression of impact. So I leave you with a small suggestion: Share your stories… Never underestimate them. They are so powerful!!